unwanted dead or alive
MICROFEELINGS:
records on my walls as art
sometimes it feels like a battle to exist and be who you are.
These days, I feel criminally uncool. I open the Substack app, read a plethora of girlhood essays, and realize they no longer feel relatable.
After watching His Three Daughters (a brilliant movie), I thought about my dad and the dynamics within my own family as he was dying. We all grew up with a different dad and experienced a different relationship with him, which seems so bizarre. I also thought about his clothes. Did his wife throw them all out? What about his deathbed pajamas? Are they hanging up at the Goodwill? He'd probably be very disappointed in me for not having a job right now. He'd call me lazy.
started watching the new Marilyn Manson doc series. I don't know why I'm so surprised by what was revealed. Disappointed, disgusted, and pissed off to lose yet another musician/actor I like to the pits of shitty behavior.
I wish there were more indie-print literary magazines.
I've been watching a lot of Mina Le vids while eating dinner on my living room coffee table. (My kitchen table is overrun by my unfinished jigsaw puzzle atm)
Life has felt a little shaky lately. I feel like I'm on the precipice of so much change: moving in with my boyfriend (?), finding/starting a new job, and living out of the city (can I be a country girl?)
ROLL.DIARY: