the tradeoff
I just watched a vid this morning about why creators would even want to post stuff online anymore.
Although an artist and not a creator, the urge to share deeply online has waned. I'm not sure if it's the current climate of all this AI bullshit, or maybe it's that my life doesn't feel in crisis as when my dad was dying, but sharing every little sentiment online has lost its urgency and luster.
I still love blogging. I'll always have this blog, but the way I use it has shifted. Rn I'm all about zines. That may change one day, too. But for now, it feels exciting and artistically nourishing.
The downside (?) is that fewer people read what I share. But I guess that's the tradeoff.
A double-sided 8-page mini perzine about the books I'm reading, a few music tracks that have been on rotation, relationship thoughts, tiny quotes, and weekly musings.
monstrous existence 10
Last night, I was listening to a podcast about a plastic surgeon and a psychologist debate beauty standards. I felt myself sighing in frustration a lot. But also, it felt validating and encouraging to listen to someone articulate some of the feelings I've been having. It's so fucking hard being a human in a female body. The double standards, the self-worth issues, the ridiculous bonding we women do over hating our bodies, the forever discontent and scrutiny of every body part, it's all so exhausting.
All the fires lately are making our celestial bodies look strangely beautiful.