other plans

Feeling deflated this morning. Worn out from the pain. Tired of being stuck in bed on my back or in a wheelchair. The constant contact of something pressing on my body is infuriating.

Standing is excruciating, but I forced myself to stand near the wall this morning. Putting all your weight on one leg takes work. My arms and shoulders are so sore from using the crutches.

Surgery is on Tuesday. They're going to put in a plate. A PLATE! and a bone graff. Fucking gross. I have three major breaks in and around my knee, with other shattered pieces and a broken tibula.

I was against taking narcotics for pain, but when I googled hydromorphone...it's a damn narcotic. Great. Whatever. At this point, I don't care; I will take whatever I need to get through this.

Thank goodness for my sister, who's here with me. I don't know what I would do without her.

My ankle is swelling up, which I read is not uncommon after you break your leg, but it's still gross to see.

It's my birthday on Wednesday. I initially took two days off around this weekend to have four days off, and I had so many plans. I was going to get three little tattoos; two on my left forearm and one on my finger. I was going to visit with friends, go to dinner, and basically unwind.

The Universe had other plans I guess.