Crackling energy

I’m at the hospital. Writing on my phone. My dad is in and out of it. Mostly sleeping with his mouth agape.

There are moments where he looks as if he’s already passed, and I lean closer to him to check if he’s still breathing.

His once hazel eyes, are now a ghostly blue-grey color. It’s eerie to witness the life force slowly seep out of him.

He hardly wants to drink or eat. Opening his eyes every once in a while to look at me or my sister, but not quite at us, more like through us. A far away stare.

I was softly pleading with whatever/whomever to please take him while we were sitting there beside him. And you know what my dad said all of a sudden?

It won’t be long now…

My eyes grew as big and round as an owls and my sister and I shared a look. Can he hear my thoughts? It was the creepiest of feelings. A few other things like this have been happening in that room.

There’s a crackling energy in there.

I can tell he’s having delusions from the hydromorphone. When he looks off into the corners of the room, I swear he’s looking at someone.

I hope my brother comes today. Maybe my dad is holding on until we’re all together. But already my dads wife says he’s not even recognizing her anymore.

She said he’s been saying strange things and when she asked him where he heard those things he said: someone whispered it in my ears…

Gahhhh (shudder, shudder)

He’s scheduled to get MAID on Friday, but he won’t make it until then.

My hope is that he’ll feel our energy, as we huddle around him, in this tiny room. I hope he feels loved.

Simple Man -Lynyrd Skynyrd. Forgot how good this song is.